Hey there, Awesome folks!

I’m Ankur, a middle-aged guy from New Delhi. My life is all about making films, travelling, taking photos, telling stories, and irritating my partner. But beyond the cool pictures and exciting tales, there’s a deeper story—the journey of being gay in India. Today, I want to share a bit of that journey with you, hoping to build understanding and empathy.

Finding My Real Self

Since I was young, I always felt different. While my friends were into Bollywood heroines, I was into none or all of them. From being caressed by my uncles to shooting together at overnight studies with a friend, I couldn’t really explain my feelings, but I knew it wasn’t something society would accept easily. Growing up in a culture where being straight is the norm, being different felt like keeping a secret that could never come out, just like my feelings.

Rocking a Mask

The pressure to fit in with what everyone else thinks is huge. The whole “When will you settle down?” thing was like a broken record for the relatives. Being gay in a culture that’s all about getting hitched and raising a family wasn’t just about who I am; it was a real no-go. I grew up in a world where being straight was the norm, and I even went out with a few girls because I didn’t realise who I really was at first. Later, I kind of hoped it was just a passing phase. But, deep down, I knew I was living a total lie, trying to squash myself into a mould that just wasn’t meant for me.

The struggle of squashing down who I really was to avoid judgement and scrutiny felt like wearing a mask day in, and day out. Dealing with other people’s expectations and norms made me feel super alone and like no one got me. I had moments where I felt really down and full of self-doubt, but deep down, I kept holding onto the hope that I’d find acceptance and get to live as my true self.

Embracing Who I Really Am

It took me ages to come out, and even then, it was a slow process. The first person I told was a close friend, who was super supportive and said, “I’m so happy you finally told me this.” That meant the world to me, and it gave me the courage to slowly show my true self to more people. Each chat was a step towards setting myself free and shedding the mask I had been wearing for so long.

During this journey, there were times when I was scared and unsure, but the support and understanding of those closest to me gave me so much strength. With each person I opened up to, I reclaimed a part of myself that I had hidden for too long. Embracing my true identity gave me a feeling of power and genuineness that I never thought I’d experience. It was a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance, showing just how resilient the human spirit can be.

Ups and Downs of Life

So, telling my folks about who I really am was super hard. The silence and tears that followed felt like a tonne of bricks on my chest. They couldn’t kick me out, but the confused and disappointed look in their eyes was rough. It took them years to come around, and even now, it’s like their approval has strings attached.

But, there have been some awesome moments too. Getting big, supportive hugs from my buddies and hitting up my first Pride Parade in Delhi felt like finding a whole new family. The sea of rainbow flags, the cheerful cheers, and the feeling of finally fitting in were just incredible. It was all about celebrating love and identity—a powerful reminder that I wasn’t alone.

Moreover, the supportive hold of my partner, who is also super annoying, keeps the faith alive that I am not alone.

Why This is Important

Telling my story isn’t just about my own journey; it’s about helping others understand the queer perspective and the emotions that go with it. It’s about empathy—seeing the world through our eyes and recognising our struggles, dreams, and desires. Love, in all its forms, is beautiful and deserves respect and acceptance.

How to Show Support for the LGBTQ+ Community

Everyone, especially those in India. I just want to ask you to keep an open mind and heart. Listen to our stories without judgement. Being gay isn’t a choice or a phase—it’s just who we are. Your support and acceptance can make a huge difference in our lives. Let’s work towards a society where everyone, no matter their sexual orientation, can live freely and authentically.

Here are some easy ways you can support the LGBTQ+ community:

• Educate yourself and others: Learn about LGBTQ+ issues and histories. Share what you learn with friends and family to help raise awareness.
• Be an Ally: Speak out against homophobia and transphobia. Your support in public and private settings can make a big difference.
• Support LGBTQ+ Businesses: Shop at businesses run by LGBTQ+ individuals or those that support the community.
• Donate to LGBTQ+ Organisations: Contribute to organisations that fight for LGBTQ+ rights and provide support services.
• Include Everyone: Make sure your social and professional circles are inclusive. Use inclusive language and respect people’s pronouns.
• Attend Events: Take part in Pride events and other LGBTQ+ activities to show your support and solidarity.

In Conclusion

I’m Ankur, a traveller, photographer, lover, and a proud gay man. I was born free but once felt confined by societal expectations. Today, I live my truth, hoping that by sharing my story, I can help break down the walls of prejudice and build bridges of understanding. Let’s create a world where everyone can be true to themselves and love without fear.

Thanks for reading, and remember, Love is Love.

With Love, Ankur