Father’s Day brings on a whole jumble of feelings, each one a real mixed bag. My old man and I’ve had quite an unconventional relationship. It’s been a real rollercoaster ride – nothing like your typical father-son story.

When I was a kid, my dad was my hero, someone I looked up to like he was invincible. But as I grew up, I started to see through the act. I could see the cracks in his armour. Realising he might not be the hero I thought he was was a tough pill to swallow.

My whole journey to this point has been shaped a lot by my dad, but not in the warm and fuzzy way you’d expect. Instead, he made me face life head-on and deal with all the tough stuff on my own. I had to earn my education and provide for the family, carrying the weight of their expectations alongside my own struggles.

The switch from being the one looked after to being the one in charge hit me like a tonne of bricks, without any encouragement or support. Since I graduated high school, I’ve been carrying the heavy burden of responsibility with no words of encouragement or acknowledgement, just the silent expectation to keep moving forward.

Coming out to him was another big moment in our tough love story. His response, “It’s your life; you decide what to do about it,” was a clear reminder of our dynamic. There was no anger or rejection, but also no acceptance or understanding. It was a cold, indifferent acknowledgement of my truth.

Now, my dad is a shell of his former self, with no memory of me. The man who was once a big part of my life, for better or for worse, is now a stranger who doesn’t even recognise me. The complexities of our past hang over us like unresolved chords, with no clear end in sight.

So, why and to whom should I send Happy Father’s Day wishes?

This day, meant to celebrate fatherhood, has me thinking about what it really means to be a father. My experiences have shown me that being a father is more than just textbook love and support. It’s also about survival, strength, and finding your own way through life’s challenges.

I’m not sending Happy Father’s Day wishes to a typical hero. Instead, I’m marking the day by looking back on the unique and intense relationship I had with my dad. It was just as much about struggle and self-discovery as it was about brief moments of affection.

In a way, maybe my dad was a different kind of hero. Not the type who protected me from the world, but the one who, through his distance and demands, pushed me to find my own inner strength. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s a big part of my story.

To anyone who can relate to a similar story, I see you. This day might not be all cheerful celebrations, but it can be a moment to look back on the progress we’ve made despite the odds. Here’s to the strength we’ve found in the face of struggle and the inner fortitude we’ve uncovered. Happy Father’s Day, in an unconventional but heartfelt way.